I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
