no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize