Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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