its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
