I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
