Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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