Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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