First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Rumble strips road head = magical
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
