maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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