took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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