What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize