Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?