I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.