hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
