Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.

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  (918): I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did. http://tfl.nu/i39w
  Replies (13) Good night (3107) Bad night (1430)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems

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  (419): Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems http://tfl.nu/onz0
  Replies (3) Good night (1431) Bad night (3028)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.

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  (859): I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college. http://tfl.nu/f01w
  Replies (9) Good night (4790) Bad night (1160)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.

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  (334): You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool. http://tfl.nu/6ccl
  Replies (7) Good night (1244) Bad night (3641)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.

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  (847): That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year. http://tfl.nu/exle
  Replies (16) Good night (3266) Bad night (1281)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...

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  (309): You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion... http://tfl.nu/v1ex
  Replies (3) Good night (2815) Bad night (785)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...

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  (573): I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head... http://tfl.nu/us9j
  Replies (3) Good night (1267) Bad night (594)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are

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  (773): Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are http://tfl.nu/he1z
  Replies (6) Good night (987) Bad night (912)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.

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  (330): I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library. http://tfl.nu/xc6t
  Replies (6) Good night (1266) Bad night (527)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.

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  (404): He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer. (404): In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup. http://tfl.nu/9ays
  Replies (16) Good night (578) Bad night (966)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."

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  (+61): I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows." http://tfl.nu/omr4
  Replies (4) Good night (1481) Bad night (461)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.

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  (520): At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget. http://tfl.nu/wj00
  Replies (6) Good night (362) Bad night (571)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird

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  (518): Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird http://tfl.nu/877o
  Replies (3) Good night (454) Bad night (291)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.

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  (773): No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/0utw
  Replies (0) Good night (634) Bad night (273)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here

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  (256): What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here http://tfl.nu/buva
  Replies (1) Good night (812) Bad night (186)

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