No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
