You're so nebulous sometimes
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
