Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?