im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
