Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
