let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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