A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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