I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
