Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just tell him i said nine months
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
