oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
