You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
as a side note pls kill me
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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