I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
