I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
