I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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