so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
