I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
