good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
