So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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