Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
