Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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