i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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