Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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