No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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