he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We were destined to go to rehab together
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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