Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We need to rekindle our bromance
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
