Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
it's great music for shaving your balls
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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