Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
