these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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