it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
