Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize
