I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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