So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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