Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
