so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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