You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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