we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
