Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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