you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
