can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I think my moral compass just broke
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
