i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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