She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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