Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize