Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
