I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
