Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize