i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
