i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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