If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
