Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
