now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize