you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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