You can't special order awesome
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
